The Sads

I've mostly been posting over at Clucky , but I feel like this community will get where I'm coming from maybe a bit better.

Hubby and I were watching TV last night, 30Rock or something, and I swear EVERY COMMERCIAL was moms, moms &kids or kids. I understand that its marketing to watching demographics etc but I noticed it more yesterday for some reason. It was really torturous, even more so because just 2 or 3 days ago he says to me "I can't wait to get you pregnant." Hello universe, I get it, thanks for inflicting pain.

We've talked about it a bunch recently; we both really want 4 children and have identical parenting views and philosophies, but our timelines differ. I just turned 26 and he'll be 37 this December. He's always reminding me that I have "plenty more good child bearing years in me" blah blah. He's practical; want's to pay off debt etc. I know what its like to have older parents (mom was 42 and dad was 48 when I was born) and it really limited what they could do with us. I don't want to do the same for my kids. And while men can have children well into their 40s, 50s and beyond, I can feel my clock tick a bit extra because of his age too. He assured me that around I would be pregnant on my 28th birthday. And we can start TTC and all that, but he cannot guarantee that happening.I feel like we ought to start trying now, JIC something goes wrong. I have an IUD and supposedly women can get pregnant pretty easily after removing it (I have Mirena, not copper) I don't want to unearth a problem and then have it take 2+ years to get pregnant and then have to rush to have kids in my late 30s. Sigh.

With all of that and the fact that it's all over TV and I have friends my age who are pregnant with their 3rd kid, it stings a little these days. Any idea how I can help convince my husband that we should start TTC sooner rather than later?

  • Current Music
    Run-Snow Patrol
wedding pic

oh argh

visiting with family. there is a 6 week old baby here with mom and pop who are some of my favorite people in the family. and my other favorite sister and brother in law are pregnant.

I did have a long cry this afternoon, but my husband doesn't know what to say any more. I think he's ambivalent at best on the kid thing.

I want to be another parent of a grandchild. I want to be part of the new mom's club. I want to be damn pregnant right damn now.

I really enjoyed the family visit but I have a sad.
wedding pic

dammit

I just had a huge fucking meltdown about the baby issue....triggered by the possibility that husband may have finally gotten a job finally finally....

I don't know how we got from discussion to me having a full out damn tantrum but I was standing in my living room screaming about how much I hate the Duggars, How jealous I am of EVERYONE, How there are 10 pregnant people at my work in the last year and I have to put up with that and take care of everybody in the world but I cannot get what I want, howcome the universe hates me and everyone else in the world can have what I want, but I can't without major intervention. I don't want to leave him, I love him. I don't want to be a single mother. I never expected to be the sort of person who has baby fever to the point where it's driving me crazy.

My husband doesn't know if he wants kids... and I'm 42 and I need to start NOW if I am ever going to be able to. I went to a reproductive endocrinologist a few weeks ago. He is 34 and has had a few years of difficult employment.

I am tremendously embarassed by my behavior tonight. I just don't know what to do. I asked him how he wants me to handle it with him, he doesn't know. Do you want me to wait a few months until you've graduated from school and are stable in your job? I don't know. Do you want me to wait until you have the job to bring it up? I don't know. If money wasn't an issue would you want kids? I don't know.

All he knows is he wants to get a few paychecks under his belt. That's great. I understand that.

I also just want some damn compassion from him, but since my pain is causing him pain, I can't really get that.

argh.
  • Current Mood
    sad sad

Uhm, am I missing something here...

I went off the pill (Quasesnse, Seasonale generic) on May 22. I started my period on May 28, and it lasted until June 4.
I've heard of those who dont get a period at all for months after stopping the pill. TCOYF tells me to expect my next period on June 25.
We're TTC and i'm trying to figure out of I ovulated this month. I do have OP strips but have yet to even open them...we've been trying like crazy and I still think that its too early for a HPT. I don't even *feel* pregnant, and usually when i'm pregnant I can at least tell when something is odd....so what gives?

Need advice?

One of my two best friends (and roomate) was rushed to the hospital from class in an ambulance wednesday night and was admitted into the hospital having contractions and preterm labor. I really felt for her, but the other thing that clouded my brain was how incredibly sad it makes me.

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koalafang

(no subject)

Age: I'm 24 and so is my husband

Location: Abingdon, VA

Occupation: Homemaker for the time being

Pets: a 6 month old kitten named Chester

How long have you been clucky?: since a week after the wedding and even more so since my best friend announced she and her husband are actively ttc

Is your S/O clucky: somewhat

How long until you TTC: probably 2 years or so (until my student loans and car loan are paid off)

Fertility Issues/Fears: i'm concerned my weight will play a major role in ttc. i'm 5'6 and 234 pounds. but i'm also very regular when i'm not on the pill so i'm fairly certain that i do ovulate and ovulate regularly.

Birth Method: i'm interested in a natural hospital birth (would prefer a birth center but i don't think my insurance covers them nor are there any near by). i do recognize tho that i am very much a wimp when it comes to pain but i do want whats best for any children i may have.

Names, or Names-to-Be: for a boy; johnathan scott and for a girl; susan michelle

Breast or Bottle-Fed: Breast and supplement with bottle as needed

Boy or Girl: idealy we'd love to have 3 kids, 2 boys and 1 girl.
  • Current Mood
    cheerful cheerful
inspiration

my husband is an idiot....

because he is playing the yes no game when i ask him about baby stuff. its driving me nuts.... and i just came back from target and saw some of the cutest baby outfits i think i ever did see..... i want to have a baby belly!
  • Current Mood
    frustrated frustrated
Wedding

Stress is fun

Ok, these weird pregnancy dreams are too much. They've got to go. Every single night I have some kind of pregnancy dream. Last night, I dreamed I gave birth to a baby (really easily... he basically fell out) and then he started aging really quickly. Like, by the end of the first day he was walking and talking and I was horrified of him. Yeah, it turned out he was the reincarnation of some evil child of someone else in my family. Or something like that. It was lovely.


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Mommy and Dumbo

(no subject)

Feeling kind of nutty right now. I've been constantly on the verge of tears for the last week. I actually broke down when we had to cancel our Easter plans because my husband had a cold.. ended up bawling and was just depressed all day. I'm going to be an aunt in 2 days (SIL being induced Thursday).. can aunts-to-be have hormonal weepiness too, or is that just mothers-to be? ;) I turned 29 last Thursday.. if I'm going to have a baby before 30, I need to get pregnant in the next 3 mo. The thought that I might never had biological children went through my head earlier tonight for the first time.. it was scary. I mean, we know we want to adopt if we can't conceive, but I never really thought it'd come to that. It made me really sad.

On the good news front, my husband and I spent some time this evening discussing how to rearrange his office so that all of his stuff actually fits on shelves rather than in boxes (I sooo cannot wait for him to have a university lecturing position with an office!) and so that my desk and craft stuff can fit in there as well. We're going to get brackets and shelves and make an entire wall of shelving; this will save a lot of space and take advantage of our vaulted ceilings in the upstairs rooms. We have three rooms but I'd been uncertain whether I wanted to give up my craft room for a baby since we're going to co-sleep anyway and the baby will also have a pack n' play in the living room, but recently decided I really do want our next child to have a nursery. We'll have a co-sleeper in the bedroom, but also a full nursery and all the baby stuff will be in the nursery. We've decided not to paint since the slanted walls are a pain and we're only renting. I've also been going through a lot of boxes and stuff and found these awesome stuffed animals we bought on our honeymoon. They're from the Crique Du Soleil KA show, a star fish and a crab (funny since I hate sea creature or Hawaiian themed nurseries) The bodies of the creatures are as big as Boppies and I'm so going to use them to recline our baby on! :)

I'm also glad my SIL is having her baby soon! Aside from the obvious, I've felt like my husband's excitement over TTC is waning and I think having a little one around will rev it back up.

I need to find my camera cable so I can post pics of the stuff I made/gave my SIL for her shower a few weeks ago. I went way overboard.. wish I hadn't so much, but oh well. I'll also post pics of the new baby soon! (under a cute of course for those of you that are sensitive)

Anyway.. thanks for listening. :)

x-posted to the other cluckcoms